identity, privacy and profession
May. 30th, 2010 05:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
clevermonikerI know from the title you can tell this is going to be a real barn-burner!
In the past few days I've been seriously consider library school as a contender for My Future. And while I always thought I'd make a kickass librarian, it's been a backup plan instead of the first goal (though I'm not sure why). The thing is, the more I think about it, the more librarianship sounds like a better fit for me.
Being a librarian does not have the same moral imperative and scrutiny that being a high school teacher does. One of the things that has always made me uncomfortable about teaching social studies from a social justice standpoint is that in order to do it well, I would have to out myself to students. It's questionable whether I would be able to teach in a district that is friendly to gay teachers, considering the job market. And more than that, the public considers teachers to be inscrutable. Any public actions teachers take must be above reproach, and I don't know if I want to live like that. I want the ability to live openly as a lesbian, to attend Pride parades if I want, to be as political as I want. (In Michigan it's still not illegal to fire someone just for being gay!) If I taught at all, it would have to be as a progressive, lesbian social studies teacher with an eye toward social justice. Can I really do that right now?
The second big issue is my disability. I still have trouble calling it a disability and not simply calling myself fucked up. A lot of my anxiety problems are tied up in communication with others. (In fact, it is the reason I'm not interning next year. I made a boo-boo and didn't return an email to my mentor for next year for a week.) Yes, being a librarian requires a lot of communication to patrons and the public, but I can't help but feel that it would feel less pressuring. I feel like right now, I deal better with things than people. LOL BUT TRUE. Working in a public library is still a public service, which is what I ultimately want to do in whatever capacity I can.
Honestly, right now it looks like if I can get in to a decent LBS program, I'll do it.
OTHER EXCITING THINGS!
1. I am still having problems with the writing thing. More than anything I'm using Tumblr nowadays. I'm brainsquish over there. It's a visual medium, and that's so much more manageable for me right now. I can post something pretty, annotate it a bit and leave it at that.
2. This is the first icon I've made in...at least four years? I really like Pixlr.com's browser-based image editor. It's pretty awesome.
3. I have finished watching Avatar: The Last Airbender. IT WAS COMPLETELY AWESOME. See my Tumblr for related flailery.
4. Great movies I've seen lately: An Education (Carey Mulligan broke my heart) and Moon (best sci-fi I've seen in awhile).
In the past few days I've been seriously consider library school as a contender for My Future. And while I always thought I'd make a kickass librarian, it's been a backup plan instead of the first goal (though I'm not sure why). The thing is, the more I think about it, the more librarianship sounds like a better fit for me.
Being a librarian does not have the same moral imperative and scrutiny that being a high school teacher does. One of the things that has always made me uncomfortable about teaching social studies from a social justice standpoint is that in order to do it well, I would have to out myself to students. It's questionable whether I would be able to teach in a district that is friendly to gay teachers, considering the job market. And more than that, the public considers teachers to be inscrutable. Any public actions teachers take must be above reproach, and I don't know if I want to live like that. I want the ability to live openly as a lesbian, to attend Pride parades if I want, to be as political as I want. (In Michigan it's still not illegal to fire someone just for being gay!) If I taught at all, it would have to be as a progressive, lesbian social studies teacher with an eye toward social justice. Can I really do that right now?
The second big issue is my disability. I still have trouble calling it a disability and not simply calling myself fucked up. A lot of my anxiety problems are tied up in communication with others. (In fact, it is the reason I'm not interning next year. I made a boo-boo and didn't return an email to my mentor for next year for a week.) Yes, being a librarian requires a lot of communication to patrons and the public, but I can't help but feel that it would feel less pressuring. I feel like right now, I deal better with things than people. LOL BUT TRUE. Working in a public library is still a public service, which is what I ultimately want to do in whatever capacity I can.
Honestly, right now it looks like if I can get in to a decent LBS program, I'll do it.
OTHER EXCITING THINGS!
1. I am still having problems with the writing thing. More than anything I'm using Tumblr nowadays. I'm brainsquish over there. It's a visual medium, and that's so much more manageable for me right now. I can post something pretty, annotate it a bit and leave it at that.
2. This is the first icon I've made in...at least four years? I really like Pixlr.com's browser-based image editor. It's pretty awesome.
3. I have finished watching Avatar: The Last Airbender. IT WAS COMPLETELY AWESOME. See my Tumblr for related flailery.
4. Great movies I've seen lately: An Education (Carey Mulligan broke my heart) and Moon (best sci-fi I've seen in awhile).